I really am not opposed to change. Change can lead to much needed adjustments. So I try to be flexible, but then something happens that makes me realize I might not be as flexible as I think I am.
We have painters coming in Thursday or Friday to paint over a water stain on our ceiling. (The water stain is a nice little reminder of the abundance of rain that fell one day last summer.) This morning I moved around our bed and night stands so they are not in the way.
In looking at my bed in its temporary placement in my room I had the thought of how I wouldn’t be able to sleep there tonight. It’s out of place. Then I was thinking how that really shouldn’t matter. It’s still my bed. I am still sleeping on the same side. Not much has changed except for its physical placement, BUT it’s still different now. As I stand at my bedroom door looking in I see my bed in a different place. It looks weird.
Last week I started to go through a box packed with old journals and some remnants from bible school. In looking through on of the journals I came across this entry from July 2003.
Car had to be towed because the key would not go into the ignition; only would go halfway. I was thinking tonight how my keys, which are so familiar to me, seemed very foreign. God showed me that this is how we think about things when they go wrong. What is familiar will turn foreign when it doesn’t work right.
My bed does look pretty foreign right now in its temporary placement. I know I would feel different if I had rearranged my bedroom, and put the bed in a new place. There would be adjustment, but also a sense of pleasure and satisfaction. I love to rearrange my living room. I think it brings freshness and even a sense of peace to have it different. Things are in their new proper place.
However, as my bed is now very close to the furniture in my room with this big gaping space where it used to be, there is a feeling of disorder. I walk in there and can feel that things are out of place. The same sensation I have with a physical arrangement can be present with a spiritual arrangement. I can have an impression that something is not right, but not quite sure what it is; or I can get a feeling that something is very right because peace abounds. It can be harder to “see” things spiritually, but thankfully I have the Holy Spirit to give me the discernment I need to perceive what needs to be changed in my life.
Holy Spirit lead change can put me out of sorts for a bit. It can be hard to let go of the things that are familiar; the things I think are in my control. Once things are figured out and I am put back in order I am a much happier person. Just like I will be once my bed is back in place…or maybe it is time to rearrange things in there.